Office Space

I just asked a co-worker for a phone charger because my phone died. The easiness of the interaction I had with him surprised me, and made me feel like I was missing something. We are not friends but we have talked…yes, something was amiss. As I walked back to my desk I realized something; I was missing the Puerto Rican “ay nena, yo te lo presto” interaction. You see, when someone asks a Puerto Rican for a favor, the Puerto Rican will handle it as their top priority. Not only that, his/her face quickly changes, as if they are the reason why you need something, more so, like it’s *their* fault because they weren’t able to anticipate that you needed X. He or she will quickly stop whatever he’s doing, and a bit clumsily (evidence of his distress) will try to meet your need while apologizing because theirs is uglier/older/doesn’t’ work very well/; this may sound something like “está medio feito verdad pero por lo menos funciona…”. They may even provide you a brief tutorial on its use, “déjame explicarte, es que el laitel tiene un truquito, tienes que dejarlo apretado solo hasta la mitad nada más porque si no se te va a apagar”. The transaction is finalized when the borrower says thank you and the Puerto Rican, with a classic, albeit contained, display of Puerto Rican martyrdom, replies: “bueno, al menos te pude ayudar’, or “espero que te haya ayudado en algo”. Actually, they may even proceed to show you that whatever they let you use/borrow is now practically yours “cualquier cosita aqui lo voy a poner en esta gaveta, no me tienes que preguntar, tú lo coges y ya, ok?” [blink]. If the borrower is also Puerto Rican, this transaction will be significantly longer because there are at least three different thank you’s, which usually include a hyperbolic “nena, me salvaste la vida”….which is often heroically answered in the first person plural- the linguistic resource by which the speaker, hides among a group of people and can no longer be identified-: “Na’ nena, pa’ eso estamos!”, and just like that, the Puerto Rican successfully preempts and avoids the first person “para eso estoy” and in that way avoids any plausible obligation in the future-you know “porque es mi pana/familia/compañero de trabajo, vijte, pero no es pa’ tanto”. Eso es fundamental: nunca es para tanto.
That!- I was missing all of that.